I'm Losing My Marbles

So, you have tried every strategy, jumped through every proverbial hoop, and you still feel like you cannot reach one or more of your students. There is no connection or buy in, and they just seem to want to be anywhere but in your classroom. These types of students often make you feel as if you are losing your mind, and your last nerve. You just want to reach them, and you feel as if you just can’t break through whatever barrier seems to stand between your mind and theirs. So, what do you do? Is there any hope? Let’s look at this situation and see.

First things first, there is always hope that a student can be reached. It may not be you who breaks through those walls, however. Just like you may or may not connect with every person you work with or interact with. Different personalities do not always mesh, but that doesn’t mean that a student is beyond reach. You may have to enlist help from others to reach a student.

When I was a paraprofessional, there was a student who just did not seem to respond to anyone. Understand that the vast majority of our school was staffed by women. This particular student had had a difficult past and had been mistreated by the women in his life. He felt abandoned and unwanted. The key to getting through to this student was to prove that you would still care about him, and stick around no matter how naughty he acted. There were times when it required one staff member to sit with him in the hallway so that his teacher could focus on the rest of the class. It was a constant struggle to help this student stay engaged because he truly believed that we all would abandon him at some point. It became a team effort to help this student learn and grow.

If at anypoint in the story above someone would have been too prideful to work with everyone else, then we never would have reached that student. It is important to remember that pride has no place in reaching students. We cannot let it hurt our feelings if someone else has more success reaching a particular student than we do. Drop the mirror and remember that this isn’t about you.

Also remember to set realistic expectations and goals. Now, the student above was by no means a model student or an angel when he left our school. If we had expected a completely different student, we would have been extremely disappointed. If a student never turns in work, expecting each assignment in on time and done to expectation in a few weeks is unrealistic. Set goals that are measurable and attainable, and then as the student meets those goals, set new ones. Keep reaching for the next step in their growth, and believe that they can get there. Then don’t give up when things get difficult.

You may have to believe for the both of you for a while. In a future blog, we will look at a student who becomes worrisome after being a “model” student. That can be an entirely different situation. For now, think about those students who came to you distant and worrisome. Enlist help to try and break through those barriers and see the student who is deep, sometimes very deep, underneath.